When you look at the world we live in and the hard times we encountered in our childhood you will find that with brokenness of the heart comes a strong desire to arise in and wield power. This kind of power we want is for a strong sense of control and self esteem.. What happens when a broken person seeks to wield unhealthy forms of power on you..
Today I want to speak to those of us who keep friends who are manipulators..
Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at ANOTHER’S EXPENSE, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious and deceptive. Social influence is not necessarily negative.
When your friends become your manipulators there is a problem bigger than you on it’s way. A real friend will tell you.. “Watch out for that problem… This is for your benefit” a manipulator will keep their mouth shut and hope you don’t make it.. But how do we know we are being manipulated..?
Maybe the key is to unlock the conversation on what characteristic makes us vulnerable to being manipulated.
Do you suffer from the following?
1) The “disease to please” : Are you always looking for the perfect way to please others to the extent that you run yourself into the ground and destroy yourself and other good people in the process…? You may be stuck in an emotional cycle that is ruining you and making you susceptible to manipulation. In fact you are great candidate for manipulation.
2) Do you suffer from an Addiction to earning the approval and acceptance of others?
Do you consider yourself at the bottom and always trying to get to the top by beating your friends? Well it is likely you can be a victim of manipulation by those you place first on the stage of your life..it’s highly likely you will choose pretentious people over genuine ones..
You have to grow smart enough to know that true elevation does not happen through addiction to anything..in fact depression is usually the result. It’s time to turn a new leaf and find friends who want to see you progress..
3) Do you suffer from, Emotophobia (fear of negative emotion; i.e. a fear of expressing anger, frustration or disapproval) Yep you too could be the victim of manipulation from dangerous friends. There is this general consensus that you never get angry about anything but you and I both know that is a lie.. You do get angry but you bottle it up and unleash that anger on the unsuspecting. You may very well become the manipulator if you are not careful..learn to express exactly how you feel and even as you pour out be mindful of everything you’re pouring.
4) Do you lack of assertiveness and ability to say no?
Again you too are vulnerable to experience manipulation. As my mentor once said you “people” in this case the manipulators will use you and use you and use until you can’t be used anymore. You know they are dangerous because they get real mad when you can’t help them anymore. First it’s their disappointment then the manipulation intensifies…
5) Do you feel you have a blurry sense of identity (with soft personal boundaries)?
Well you will inevitably be manipulated..
“never stop doing good deeds but always remember that even goodness has self control” let every good deed be a decision not an under handed coercion by someone who wants what you are…
If you already know your manipulators and think that they are up to no good it’s time to walk free of their mental remote controls.. Learn to say no and ask questions when you don’t understand them. Don’t be a slave but be conscious of your service to them.. Endeavour to stay sober and its likely you will catch manipulators out but if you fall for their charms and wits you may very well end up weeping..
All that being said
All things said with Love and Respect
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