Relationship Short Notes :- Sex and The Man


The truth is some of us need to be smarter with where our impulses lead us. The Lower half of your body is a treasure you have to take care of with a discerning mind. Your sexual expression is a gift that you can preserve for your good until marriage and in marriage. It can also be used for the downfall of yourself and the person you supposedly care about. Find me a man who is steering away from sleeping with multiple women and searching for a wife and I will show you a man worthy of honour and respect. Why would a boy be considered a man when cannot not put childish things away? Surely at some point EVERYMAN has to put his sexual health first and his heart right by seeking some help to redefine himself because up until then multiple partners have fragmented his soul into a black hole of uncertainty and indecision.

Your lower half is a treasure you must protect not with a condom but with your mind. For once in your life consider how sleeping around affects your bigger picture. If sleeping around doesn’t distort or ruin your bigger picture then maybe you need to expand your canvas…


All things said with Love and Respect
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Visual Relationship DeTox For Men

So, what makes real men want to take a second look? The most popular answer might surprise you:

“The first thing I notice about a woman is her face. If she isn’t pretty, then I won’t talk to her. But if she has a pretty face, I will start a conversation.” – Joey, 22

“I always notice a girl’s style first. I check out how she carries herself, how she walks, and what kind of vibe I get from her.” – John, 23

“I notice her hair and feet, especially if she’s wearing open-toe sandals. How a woman’s hair and feet look tells me how much she takes care of herself.” – Derrick, 39

Well I’m going to try and be as honest as I can when it comes to the man and his relationship detox.
Search most men’s phone and and handheld devices.. In fact anything with a hard drive and you’re likely to find that which causes men to remain creatures that can only be visually enticed.

If her Face isn’t “Nice”, We check the breasts, if the breasts aren’t to our taste, We check the Butt, If the Butt isn’t to our taste we check the “Attire”. If the total combination of all this isn’t making us rush with desire then it seems as though this woman has failed to meet our preconception. We are prepared to reject her and move on with no regrets or questions. If she is after us we play the game as best we can until we find what we think we are looking for. My question however is what is it that informs our personal filters as men?

In my community I know that there are many ways to meet women and that there are plenty of good, driven women perusing that higher life with a good man but why are good women and good men missing each other? Is it because the good women are doing something wrong(maybe) or is it because the good men are seeing something wrong with mature definite women?

The truth is every man knows the things that turn him on. However rarely do we ever as men question what, and why we find certain kinds of women more attractive. Sexual allure comes in so many guises and although men will not fall for all of it but because we are creatures of visual appeasement, procreation and dominion so naturally we can still slip into the spell of the huntress who knows how to secure our attention but dismantles our heart.

Whatever has informed your manhood and attraction to the opposite sex Time to have a better idea of what to go for and what to avoid..


1) Is she a SEDUCTRESS/JEZEBEL/? The one who has nothing to offer except what she knows a man craves for “Sexual attention”. She plays the sweet tunes that can only charm a man who entertains lies. She knows that you are a pet in her box, a snake in her basket. She speaks with rhythms that make you sway internally but she breaks your mind in places you don’t even know exist. She enslaves you with premeditated, tried and tested, foolishness inducing words and actions like that of a poet with permission to take the centre stage of your life. She knows your address, your bank account, the workings of your business but leaves the door open for the thief at night. She protects her growing interests in your growing empire of “Vision, Knowledge, Wealth and Connection” but the thief is doing daily physical, emotional, mental and even spiritual withdrawals that you justify because of your addiction to her (you know what) but know not of the consequences. Time flies when you’re having fun but the curses of her tongue fly when you’re having drama. Wake up she’s working on you and setting the timer for your self destruct sequence. She is watching your throne and wants to take it from you.

2) Is She a Delilah?: The one who in the beginning seems like there’s nothing wrong but ultimately she’s coming from the wrong place. She speaks your language and could articulate your dream to you with added beauty and accuracy. She wants your secrets but you don’t know whether its you she wants to be with or the dream. She gives you and others signals at the same time and so you cannot differentiate between you and her other guy friends but she knows how to wing you back in when you stray from your dedication.
She sees through the Armor you wear and can tell you your weak spots. She always wants emotional sympathy but never gives you the same rope to climb out of your despair. Your suffering is her chance to be the Heroine, sniff till you are high but just when you think she has saved you your desire for her is like a bottomless pit. You will lie to get her back, you will buy anything to buy her back, cry to seal her cracks but when she is done with the “Fallen You” she will betray you with the thing you have always feared most… “Loneliness”. Wake up she’s watching your Strength and wants to take it from you.

3) Then there is The Companion/Undercover Queen. She doesn’t demand a title but you and I both know she deserves it. She was faithful to you when you went out with Delilah and had a threesome with Jezebel but she never disrespected herself whilst waiting for you. The truth is you don’t deserve her yet you know she is amazing. She put clothes on you and made you a man after the right things. She encourages focus and determination but opens her arms to you in your times of Downward spirals. She comforts the heart with her presence and speaks words born from Kindness and courage. She doesn’t seek control more that she will help you remain in control. She sees your heart as a treasure she would protect with her life. The only thing she asks isn’t that you “Respect” her but that you Love her before and after her sacrifices for you. It’s not about how she looks but her looks can make a man live for a purpose greater than himself. Her Conduct inspires the Legacy in you and keeps the leader in you and your trusted counsellors, happy. Wake UP! She’s watching Your Throne and Wants to Sit next to YOU!

All things said with Love and Respect
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Womanhood Notes: Essential Qualities Part 2

Self Control

Another quality that powerful women in any situation and time of life should have is self control. In my last piece on this subject I spoke about patience. The importance of “self control” is no less important. As an influential woman please understand that, power is destructive in a woman who has no self control. A lot of women have become what they had not planned because of a lack of self control or in some cases too much of it. Some influential women justify their singleness and independence while in the 40s however simultaneously they wish they had a husband and children to share the material success they now have. I worry a lot for influential women who today aspire only for material success in the early days of their lives because they have forgotten the importance of the other roles that they can do so well.


We also have young women in their Teens and 20s upwards giving away their bodies or images of them, their souls or fragments of them and self respect to undeveloped men with false self esteem. In absence of self control a woman is slave to the desires of her body. Feeding feelings like Sex(Body Touch), Shopping(Acquiring possessions), Exhibitionism(Peoples adoration). All of which are not wrong when they happen in the right time and circumstance but when they become the source of a woman’s worth trouble is not far away.


On the Subject of relationships
Some women allow their personality to be raided by strange men, strange women, wrong bosses and even wrong industries. Having allowed their lusts for power to be More important than what they know to be morally right they give away the substance of truth for 15minutes fame, 15minutes of Sex, and Even 15 years of Marriage & Motherhood.

Statistically it has been proven that if a man can sleep with you on the first date, it’s highly likely that relationship is going to end before it even begins, because a real man prefers a woman with self control. Remember all good men are looking for a woman who can manage her urges and dreams to acquire what will give long lasting satisfaction (Being a Virtuous Wife, and An honourable Mother). Never for a second assume that a lapse in moral truth does not have its long term consequences..

Influential women must understand that self control can be balanced out. On the other hand some women are so controlled that they cannot show or express love to their husband but lacked self control when they were about the town or visiting ibiza or Magaluf. Some women cannot be cheerful because they believe expressions of joy must always be kept under wraps.

In conclusion Self control is a tool to filter out the unwanted things from your path in life but it should not become a hindrance to finding and experiencing the right kind of love. Discern and measure your ways and standards before they are so extreme only you can live within the walls you have created.


All things said with Love and Respect
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Relationship Notes:- Visual Relationship DeTox 4 Women


If every good woman I know wants to be a wife in charge of her household then I prefer to be honest and frank. I want to see all the beautiful women I know loved and cherished. -@MrVitoSpeaks

In all fairness, what you are preparing for when you talk about being a wife is not just a role you watch on TV, its a defining role that isn’t for actors. Its for brave women ready to step up to the plate. There is no use in idealising being a wife and not doing the prep to connect to the Right man. A good man can make the difference between heaven & hell or particularly a woman happy or a woman scorned! Although my advice to clear up your mind vision may sound extreme, I’m going to require you to change your eyes, if not your glasses. (Brace Yourselves)


Throw out or box or Delete:
a) DVDs that strongly influence your ideas on love. Especially, sexually driven films/dramas. (Is the Love you see there, the love you have had in real life?)

b) Tabloid Magazines about Celebrity Love, Love Novels that contain graphic depictions of sexual activity and any kind of promiscuity. (I’m Single Handedly ruining your Lifestyle here)

c) Photos of Half Naked sexualized men on your laptop and phones. i.e Airbrushed “Perfect Men”

d) Get rid of the Ex boyfriends in every single way you can imagine, delete phone numbers, BBMs, WhatsApps, Pictures, Naked Pictures. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Certain memories keep giving you strength to return to your vomit.

I’m not saying you should abandon entertainment altogether, but I’m saying move from addiction to responsible management. This involves breaking away and doing without it for as long as you can without relapsing-@MrVitoSpeaks

I say this in respect to the female heart. These things are known to poison your genuine and right ideas of Love. You need to reset your mind for fruitful love and that will not happen whilst watching “Scandal”, “Real Housewives of Anywhere” or “Love and Hip Hop” or “Porn”.

What you think is reality is really someone’s entertaining edited glossed version of situations and some of them staged conveniently for “Drama” and “Arousal”. -@MrVitoSpeaks

When you think your life is filmed in HD you stop actually interacting and live like what you fantasise. Fascinated by appearance but never stopping to investigate what you think “IDEAL” is in reality.

The truth is you need to engage in some habit changing wholesome conversations, reading, socialising with Genuine People & Couples. To be a wife is a royal thing. You don’t become royalty by watching people entertain you.

You become royalty by pursuing your purpose and doing it passionately. -@MrVitoSpeaks

By working with the man you love towards a greater goal than your “Exhaulted Ego” “Exhaulted Beauty” and “Awards”. Being a wife isn’t about entertainment but it is full of entertaining moments.

That charm you pull off so well on social networking sometimes only works on the internet. It may get you into a mans bed but after that you wont be allowed into his head. -@MrVitoSpeaks

That being said I may sound like a man on a mission to transform you or at least spark a thought. All I ask is that you think about this and manage your intake of addictive media. A clear mind is the first sign post to locating the Love that you need to be the best version of you.

It was an ordinary weekday morning when Caroline first noticed how much pornography was taking over her life. With 15 minutes to go before she was due to leave for a job interview, she opened up her laptop to print off an extra copy of her CV and there, onscreen, was a grab she’d saved from a porn site.

“I remember the feeling of being sucked in, really wanting that two-minute fix, that numbness I got when I used porn,” says Caroline. “I was stressed out, and I risked being late for my interview, but I pressed play anyway and fast-forwarded it to the bit I wanted. It took two minutes.” But the relief was to be short-lived. “Afterwards I just hated myself for giving in and getting off on images that treated women like pieces of meat. But I kept going back.” -Guardian Article

If you would like to know what to do from this point check out what my wife has to say.


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